I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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