I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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