You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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