So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
