We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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