We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize