Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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