After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
