i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
