Buhtt sex?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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