we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
