I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
