I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
