quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
