I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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