all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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