it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
one might say we're banned from that church
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
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