idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
