This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
