I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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