So drunk its hurt
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
