dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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