im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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