I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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