google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize