Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
