butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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