were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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