so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
