We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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