That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
