he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
