Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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