whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
