i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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