The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
