there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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