why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
