She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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