you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
