I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
