oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
where are you?
Hypothermia
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is Oprah even human
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My feet surprised me
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
