She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
