The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
