is your mom at the bar?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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