can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
