Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Randomize
