Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
