go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pants 0. Shit 1.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize