4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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