He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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