I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
