So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize