I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
