apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
