I feel like abortions should bother me more
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
