My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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