butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
