If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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