just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
