I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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