Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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