I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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