I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
